If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
