sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
