I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
