I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I need to calm my uterus...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
