Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
