i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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