I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's blow job season.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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