It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need to calm my uterus...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
