I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
