He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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