Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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