I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
