I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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