Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
