i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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