Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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