your thong is hanging out like whoa
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
