I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
