11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
