He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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