i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
