Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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