so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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