They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
