He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
