can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
