OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
