So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
