You smell like stripper and shame
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
