It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
