It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
