I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
