if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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