Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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