please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
