I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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