He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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