So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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