ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
