I'm lost and stupid without you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
