I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
