speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
