you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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