u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my being single is dangerous.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
