ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
