Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
