hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
