Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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