I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Found the puke drawer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
