u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
