Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
