You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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